I recently took a much-needed break from social media. A lot has been happening in my life the past four months and I felt the need to unplug from the world. With the new season upon us, I am in a better state of mind and ready to share what has been going on. So let me fill you in…
My summer did not turn out as expected, to say the least. I had amazing plans that would consist of beach days, hikes, blogging, weekend trips, and just taking advantage of life. My family and I even had a trip planned to Maui that I could not wait for! I missed out on so much last year because of my depression; I wanted to make this summer memorable. But life is never that easy. What was supposed to be a great time, quickly took a turn for the worse. My grandfather became very ill and needed emergency surgery just days before we were supposed to leave for Maui. After that moment, everything changed. My days were consumed by worry for my grandfather's health and recovery. I was at the hospital every day after work, reassuring myself that everything was going to be okay.
My perspective of life changed in that very moment. Nothing else was more important than being there for my family. It was a very long summer of constant worry, depression, and anxiety. All the plans I had went out the window; I spent the last four months living on standby. My depression took over, like never before. I don’t think I’ve ever been more depressed and exhausted from life. Everything was just falling apart right in front of me.
Important priorities on my list of things to do, were not getting done. I wasn't keeping up with my posts on Beeing Jess. I had opportunities to write a few guest blog posts that I never submitted. I just couldn't get myself to write, I had no motivation. I was supposed to take the GMAT (graduate school test) but had to postpone it because I wasn’t prepared. I was very overwhelmed and felt like a complete failure. Everything was slipping through the cracks.
Feeling like a failure was unbearable; I was at my breaking point. I wanted to take a step back and refocus. Now that summer was over, I didn't want to bring the same negative energy into the new season of fall-which is my favorite! That's why I felt the need to check out for a while and take a break from social media. I had to take the pressure off that I was putting on myself. I took time to reset and process everything that was going on in my life.
This break was exactly what I needed to find balance again. I stopped putting pressure on myself to be perfect and have everything figured out. Life loves to throw curve balls, and you just have to go with it. I picked myself up and took charge of my life. I'm currently in the process of studying for the GMAT and will be taking the test at the end of the month. I've been working on more content for my Beeing Jess and will be posting a lot more. Life is slowly but surely turning around for the better. I'm doing the best I can right now, and that is enough.
Remember, it's okay to take a break. Sometimes life gets the best of us and instead of giving up, just press pause. Be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.