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November 1, 2017

"Nothing will ruin your 20's more than thinking you should have your life together already." 


I'm a few days away from my 25th birthday! Woohoo, bring on the quarter-life crisis!

I’ve come to realize that adulting is not easy, it SUCKS! I remember when I was 18 and in my first year of college I would think to myself, "I can't wait until I'm 25 and have my life figured out." Well, here I am days away from turning 25 and I do not have my shit together! But guess what?! It's completely normal to go through this! It’s something that everyone experiences in their 20’s.


I thought this would be the perfect time to share a few things that I've learned during my quarter-life crisis...


1.  It's okay to not have your life figured out.

After college, I thought everything would fall into place. I would find my dream job, make a lot of money, get married, and buy a house. You know, the things that I'm "supposed to do." Well none of this has happened for me yet and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Isn't college supposed to prepare you for the real world? Here I am, almost 3 years out of college and I'm still trying to find my passion and purpose in life! Most days I feel really lost and don't know what direction to go next. But, I've learned to embrace this journey of self-discovery. There’s no rush in figuring it all out. As long as you keep pursing your dreams and goals, one-day life will work out. There's nothing wrong with going with the flow and allowing yourself to evolve into the person you are meant to become.

"Trust the timing of your life." 


2. Life goes by faster than you think, enjoy it!
Time is a scary thing. I remember being in high school and someone once told me "enjoy this time in your life, because after it’s over life just passes you by.” I didn't believe it at the time, but WOW were they right about that one! I can't believe how fast my life has gone by. The future scares me; it's definitely one of my major fears in life. Everyone around me is getting married, having babies, and here I am not ready for any of that. I always feel like I’m running out of time to live my life and accomplish my goals. When we get wrapped up in believing we need to know what we’re going to do, we lose sight of the present. Embrace every moment of your life: the good and the bad. We only get one life, live it to the fullest. 

"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 


3. Live with no regrets. 

So often I find myself living in the past. There are things that I should have done, things that I wish I could change. Living in the past is unhealthy, it stops you from living in the present moment. I always dwell on the "what if's" and the "should have's." "I should've applied to grad school right after my undergrad,” "What if I would've taken the other job?" "Did I choose the right path in life?"  These are the questions that consume my thoughts. But you know what? There are no regrets in life, just lessons learned. You have to let go of the idea in your head of what life should be and accept how it is and where you are in this stage of life. 

"The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence."  


4. Life doesn't always go as planned. 

Life is unpredictable. Sometimes, it doesn't go the way we planned it. I think this is the most important lesson we learn in life. You cant control everything, you will fail, and you will make mistakes; it's a part of life. If you get knocked down, you have to pick yourself up and keep on going. In a blink of an eye, everything can change. Living with anxiety and depression was never a part of my life plan, but it happened and I had to adjust. Remember, sometimes your plans don't work out because God has better ones. Just breathe, let go, and see what happens.  

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." 


5. Don't compare yourself to others.

In today's world, it's difficult not to compare your life to someone else's. Everyone lives different lives, the sooner we understand that the better our own lives will become. We live in a society based on likes and follows, when in reality does any of that really matter? We like to portray a perfect life, but that's not real. We're all on different paths in life. Instead of comparing and being jealous of one another, we should be happy for others, wish them the best, and focus on our own lives. Living life to impress others isn’t really living. Be grateful for your own life, be true to yourself and you will live a much happier life. 

"Comparison is the thief of all joy." 

If you find yourself going through a quarter-life crisis, don't worry you're not alone. Everyone goes through it. So many people act as if they have it all together, when in reality they don't. We're all just trying to live our best lives. When you feel overwhelmed with life just let go and let God. Trust your journey. Surround yourself with positive people who push you to be the best version of yourself. Life will always work out the way it's supposed to. 


"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be." 

love, Jess


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